New Year’s Resolution

This didn’t really work last year, so let’s try again this year. I promise I will do better. Really. Honestly. I swear.

Yes, I know you’ve seen this before. But really, this time I mean it. After another overly long hiatus (a whopping 220 days), the Blue M&M is back and promises – with his hand pressed firmly to the white M on his chest – that he is back to regular posting and will not take such a long break again. The reality is I miss blogging, and will do my best to make a couple of posts a week. I know our track record isn’t great – especially my track record – but for everyone who actually reads this blog, know that it will be updated with much more consistency and regularity. To prove my sincerity, a new post is imminent. This blog was good last Winter and Spring, barely existent over the Summer, and has been sustained on life support by the Green M&M since then. Hopefully it will return to robust vitality quite soon….

Trust me I’m a doctor,

Liam at 16 months

I cannot believe you are already 16 months old! Here are some of my favorite things about you lately:

- The way you bring us books to read to you. You will sit in our lap for a good 20 minutes and we will just flip through books.

- You randomly come up to me and give me a hug, melts my heart. You are my snuggle bug.

- Sometimes when you are hugging me or while I am holding you, you pat my arm or my back. Adorable.

- You love to pull/push toys all around the house.

- The way you say iPad, you shake your head up and down when you say it.

- You are trying to repeat a lot of the words we say. Here is what you can say so far: iPad, Mama, Dada, bye-bye, Abuelo, Abuela, Don, done, down, Calliou, “whoo” like the owl, “wow-wow” like the dog, WOW, Uh-Oh, agua, caca, and “No” (but you never say it just once…it’s always “no no no no”). You sign for more, all done, and eat.

- Along those lines, you are constantly babbling…no one really knows what you are saying but I love to hear you “speak” all the same!

- You could live outside. You love exploring and picking things up from the ground.

- The way you dance when you hear music. You recently added twirling to your dance routine. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing. If you hear a beat that you fancy you will start to dance.

- The way you try to snap.

- The way you try to wink, you basically blink your long beautiful eyelashes.

- I put up these fabric alphabet letters on the playroom wall and we have an elephant that sings the alphabet. We often turn on the elephant and point to the letters as we sing the alphabet song. You have started to point to each letter as we sing together. You are so smart.

- I love the way you walk around with one of your lovie’s in your mouth. We have Elly the Elephant, Barry the Bear, and Ralphy the Dog. They smell so badly, it doesn’t matter how often I wash them- they stink! But, you absolutely love them and know where one of them is at all times.

- You give us besos and blow us kisses. I cherish each and every one.

- I love watching you play with Max and Luna. You love it when they run around, you try to run after them and throw them their toys.

- Hearing you laugh. I can’t help but smile.

- Hearing you call my name. You know who I am and want to be with me. This brings me so much joy because I love being with you, you fill my days with so much happiness. I love being your Mommy.

Love Always,

Mama

MORE Change is in the Air!!

 

Change is inevitable. I know this by now, but it does not make it any easier. Our family is in the midst of experiencing several great changes. I find myself feeling very anxious and nervous most days anticipating all the things to come even though they are GOOD changes.

Change number one: Becoming a family of four.  As of this past Thursday, Liam is 15 months old. As of this past Friday I am 36 weeks pregnant and per my OB’s exam could deliver anytime. I am anxious about being a mother of two who are so small. I try to think of how I will logistically feed Sofia every two to three hours and follow our little explorer around the house. I try to imagine taking care of a newborn and a very active toddler on very little sleep. (If you know me at all, you know I desperately NEED my sleep and have a pretty big love affair with our comfy bed). I wonder where I will find the patience, the love, the grace, the creativity and energy day-to-day to be the mother our children deserve. I wonder how this change will affect Liam. I fear the worst. I want Liam to be happy and I am afraid I will not be able to give him the attention he deserves. I worry that Sofia won’t get the time Liam did and will be behind. I know how silly all of these fears sound. Millions of women have raised successful, brilliant children under much more difficult circumstances. On that note I am extremely anxious about Sofia’s birth. I delivered Liam in 8 hours with  no medication of any kind. I was nervous before his delivery mostly because of the unknown. This time around I KNOW what the pain feels like. Let me tell ya, knowing is much worse. I feel as though for me and our children having a natural childbirth is the best. I am not going to lie, there is also a bit of a pride issue with me wanting to deliver our children sans medication. After all, for years I have taught that this way of childbirth is optimal, what kind of teacher would I be if I didn’t do this myself? When I was in labor with Liam I honestly thought I would die from the pain. I didn’t think anyone could survive such agony. It was worth it in the end. But those who say you forget must be CRAZY! I will never forget the pain of childbirth. EVER. The imminent arrival of our little girl brings back those memories ten fold. I honestly get sick and begin to shake thinking of it all. I will say, after it is all said and done I know it is worth it. It is truly amazing how God orchestrates the entire labor and delivery process and I am so blessed to be able to experience life at it’s best.

Change number two: Mason is getting out of the Air Force sometime in January. We will not be 100% sure until the end of November but supposedly it is basically a done deal. For six years now (ever since I met Mason) we’ve had this 9 year commitment to the AF hanging over us. We have felt as  though our lives couldn’t truly start until we were out of the Air Force. We had no real illusions of being released when Mason filled out the paperwork for an early exit. We had originally heard he was not granted an early release. My mind shifted from the small glimmer of hope to making the best out of the situation God had given us. Eleven days after the original news we were in awe and shock when Mason’s commander told him that his request had been appealed. In a sense, Mason’s life will be the one that changes the most, his work life anyways. He will finally be able to practice medicine the way he thinks is best without the bureaucracy of the AF. I think he will be happier. There are a lot of little things in the AF that  have been frustrating for ME and I am not the one dealing day in and day out with it all. Obviously, Mason has to find a job now! Please pray with us about this situation. Today is November 23rd (and I am now 38 weeks pregnant) and we are still awaiting Sofia’s arrival. Normally we wouldn’t want to rush her arrival but Mason desperately needs to begin interviewing at the different prospects. Between interviewing, making a decision, hiring process then credentialing it could take a while – all of this during the holiday season which makes everything slower. I pray for wisdom for Mason as he interviews and as he/we decide which option is best for our family. We are incredibly blessed that Mason has a career where he has absolutely no problem finding a job. We haven’t found the ideal (ie, a hospital IN Nashville) but there are several good options on the outskirts of Nashville.

Change number three: MOVING!!  As “fate” would have it, we are finally settled in this beautiful home in Destin. We have made some good friends, found a church and I’ve gotten involved in MOPS. If you read my last post about change you will not be shocked with what I am about to say. We are trying to move to the Nashville area.  Most everyone knows our hearts stayed in NYC when we left. New York simply feels like home to Mason and me. BUT we feel as though right now the best decision for our family is to stay close to our parents. With such young children I, especially, feel as though I could use the help and support of family. We have not given up on our dream to move back to The City, we are simply postponing it for a few years. We truly feel as though God has orchestrated all of these events in our lives. He has given us an overwhelming peace that can only come from Him.

Well, some of these changes have finally happened. I gave  birth to our sweet Sofia a week ago today. In a nutshell her birth was nothing of what we thought it would be. It was much more difficult than any of us thought it would be. But, in the end, Sofia and I are both healthy and happy! I will write more later, but for now I will leave you with a few pictures.

 

 

 

 

Change is in the Air

Most of you know that I am a missionaries’ kid. As such I am accustomed to change. We moved from Spain to the States and back to Spain several times. We moved to a lot of different towns within Spain as well. The last time I counted in my THIRTY years of life (yikes!) I have lived in twenty-seven or so homes. I’m sure the number is higher now. And being as though I am married to a surgeon who is in the Air Force that number is simply going to continue to climb for a while. That’s ok, I feel claustrophobic after a while, I get a deep yearning for change. I’m not sure what I would do with myself if I knew there were no more moves in my future.

Through all the homes, towns/cities, friends,changes in relationship status, jobs, hair colors, phases, etc the one thing that has remained constant in the past thirty years are my parents.  I have ALWAYS been able to count on them for anything-day or night. For the most part they have gone through all my biggest changes with me. Now it’s their turn. For the first time they are leaving Spain (with no plans to return), the place they started their first church, the place they raised their children, the place they met their first grandchild. Spain is where they grew up together as a couple in many ways. This is a huge turning point for us as an entire family. I’m not sure I ever believed this time would come. Spain is “home” and my parents have always been “home.” I can’t decide if this blog is going to be more about my feelings about their move or how I imagine it must be for them. It will be some of both, I suppose.

My parents are amazing parents, grandparents and have become best of friends to me. Selfishly, this move is a gift from God. Instead of being 4,579 miles away (yes, I googled that) they will only be 447 miles north of us in Nashville, TN. I wish they were only 4 miles away, but hey, I’ll take what I can get!! I have said this before and I will say it again, as I get older I feel more of a need for my parents. More importantly, I WANT them near. I can obviously live my life without them right here, but life is simply more enjoyable when shared with two of my favorite people. I look forward to being able to call my parents up and not count seven hours ahead every time to figure out what time it is there. I look forward to texting them. I look forward to them seeing Liam and, soon-to-be-arriving Sofia more often. I look forward to being only a SHORT plane ride away or a day’s car ride away from quality time with them. I look forward to celebrating more holidays and special occasions together. There are a ton of things I look forward to – one being the day we live in the same town!!!

On the other hand, I am sad that they are moving back. Mostly because of my brother and his three children. I think it will be a huge change for them. Every time I am around our nephews and niece and they see my parents they yell “ABUELOS!!!” and seem really excited to be with them. Their entire lives they have had them close by. I have only known Spain with my parents there. It is the same for my brother. Spain without my parents must be an odd place. Now that they are moving back we will not be visiting Spain as much. We will still go to see M,B,A,C & D of course, but it won’t be the same. This is sad to me. I will miss Spain and I will miss Spain without my parents – it simply will not be the same. I almost feel as though I am leaving home all over again. There is a sadness amidst the happiness.

It will also be difficult on all the people my parents have touched in their thirty years. I don’t think they realized how deeply they have impacted people until now. We tend to take people for granted on a day to day basis but when our day to day is threatened by change you re-evaluate the value of those around you. I think those around my parents are experiencing this and vice versa.

Change is never easy but when this change entails moving your ENTIRE life across the ocean and saying goodbye to thirty years of memories it makes it seem almost impossible. I know God has a reason for this move and He will be guiding them and holding their hands throughout this entire process. I pray they feel His presence at every step of this journey.

Mama y Papa, I love you both so much and we are here for you and praying for you always!

Love,

In Just One Year

Dearest Liam,

Today we had your very first birthday party! You are a big ONE year old. I am so very proud of you. As I type this I have home videos playing of the day you were born, your first car ride, your first walk, your first bath. It brings tears to my eyes. So much has changed in just one year. I never knew it was possible to love someone unconditionally until you came along. I never knew what it was like to want to give of myself completely to another being until you were born. I never realized how lacking I am in so many areas and how I want to be a better person in every way until I met you. I could have never imagined watching my heart walk this earth (outside of my body) until you were given to us. You have been such a blessing and a gift in so many ways.

I know I have already made so many mistakes and I am sure I will make many more. I am sorry honey. Please know I am trying to improve as your Mommy and as a human being because of YOU. You deserve the best and I am trying to be that for you. I pray that you will forgive me for my short comings and love me despite my faults.

Here are some of the highlights of this past year for me:

- The moment I laid eyes on you for the first time. This was a life changing event.

- Breastfeeding, I loved the bond and closeness that it brought.

- Watching you smile for the first time, the sixth time, the one hundredth time…your perfect smile lights my world.

- Hearing you laugh. Every time I hear you laugh I can’t help but laugh myself.

- Watching you sleep. In the beginning it was like a miracle when you slept so I would cherish those moments and run off to nap myself. Now you are a great sleeper and I love the peacefulness that I see when you lie in your crib dreaming sweet dreams.

- Experiencing all your “firsts”. You have grown from a tiny newborn to a fun and curious toddler.  Not every step has been easy but I will cherish each and every one.

- Seeing the world through your eyes. Everything seems to intrigue you.

- Reading books with you.

- Watching you play and love on your amazing Daddy. (You really do have the best Daddy in the world. He is wonderful in every way and we are beyond blessed to have him. I know one day you will look up to him and respect him like I do.)

Liam, there are so many other things that I love about you and that I will carry in my heart always. I am so thankful to be your Mama! I look forward to waking up to your sweet and smiling face every morning. And to giving you kisses and snuggles before every bedtime. And to all the fun in between. You are my personal gift from our Heavenly Father and I hope that I will be able to show you this in a real and tangible way.

Love ALWAYS,

Mommy/Mama

Dearest Baby M2

Baby Girl,

What a surprise you have been to us in every way! We already love you so much and are so thankful for you. One day you will probably hear  how shocked I was to find out that you were growing inside of me. You will also probably hear that I was a little sad. Baby Girl, this had nothing to do with you and everything to do with your silly Mommy. I was/am scared that I won’t be as good as a mommy as you and your brother deserve. I am terrified that you and Liam will not feel loved enough or have enough “Mommy time”. In my perfect plan you were due to arrive a year or two later. But you came at a much better time. You came in God’s perfect timing.

You also shocked us by being a girl! Daddy and I really wanted you to be a little girl but we had convinced ourselves that you were a boy. We were going to name you Lucas. When Dr. Esses did the ultrasound and told us you were a GIRL I just kept saying “WHAT?!??!? REALLY?!? NO WAY!”  I still can’t believe that I get to be a mommy to you, my precious little girl. I think I might not completely believe it until I hold you in my arms!

I am twenty weeks pregnant with you and time is flying by until the day we get to meet you. I find myself dreaming of you and what  you will be like on a daily basis. I daydream of all the fun girly things we are going to be able to do together. I hope we can be as close as I am to Abuela. I pray for you. I pray that you will see how precious and perfect you are. I pray that  you will see yourself in God’s eyes.

Honey, you are so blessed because you have the BEST Daddy in the entire world. Your Daddy treats me better than any woman could ever dream of. I really hope and pray that you will find a husband exactly like your Father, but I feel as though it will be hard. He is so uniquely wonderful. You will be spoiled by seeing how amazingly he treats me and us. You deserve someone like him though, I pray you wait patiently for whomever God has for you.

Your big brother is so much fun! I know he is going to make you laugh a lot. He is a good snuggle bug too!  I really hope you two are really close and truly enjoy each others company. I know there will be times when you get on each others nerves but I pray that at the end of the day you realize there is nothing in this world like family.

I am planning your room and having so much fun all along the way. I love looking at all the girl bedding and baby clothes. It really is so much fun. I hope I don’t go overboard! I cannot wait to have your nursery together! I know you probably won’t remember your first room but I want you to know that we put a lot of effort it to making it perfect for you. We have many years of planning your rooms and clothes together-how much fun!

Well, I guess that is all for now. I am sorry if I don’t write much but know that I think about you everyday. Our family is going to have so much fun together. You were perfectly placed in this family and I love you always, Mama.

Our first unofficial family picture!

Love,

Unmet Expectations

Scotty McCreery won Season 10 of American Idol.

Up to the Final 5, I wrote a recap for every American Idol performance, ranking each contestant according to how I thought they performed that evening. But the week of the Final Four we left for New York on Thursday afternoon and didn’t actually watch the episode until that morning, so there was no time to complete a write-up. The next week I wasn’t able to watch either the live show or the results show, so there was no recap for that week either. For this week – the finale – there was really no point in recapping two adolescent country singers, both from the Deep South, and frankly I had very little interest in the outcome. For a season that featured a variety interesting and truly artistic singers in the Top 10, how did we end up with these two bland (though talented) singers? Where did such a promising group of finalists go off the rails?

Pia and Haley were considered the two best singers as early as March.

Well, going off the rails is a bit harsh. Lauren Alaina and Scotty McCreery are both fine singers, a fact I can admit even though I’m not a big fan of country music. Scotty was solid throughout the season, never turning in a bad performance, but never turning in a great one either. He aimed for consistency instead of excellence and risk-taking, and it paid off with hordes of Southern teenage girls voting en bloc. Lauren probably had the stronger technical ability, but she is still unsure of who she is as an artist. While she never had a bad night, her ability to imbue her technical proficiency with emotional authenticity was sporadic at best. Scotty probably deserved to win over Lauren, but in my mind he was the 5^th best overall: Pia Toscano was easily the best, Haley Reinhart was clearly next in line and gave some of the most memorable performances of the season, Casey Abrams and James Durbin weren’t far behind. I’ve discussed the major flaws in the Idol voting system, and won’t address them again here. I will say that it’s a shame we couldn’t see a Top 6 consisting of Pia, Haley, James, Casey, Scotty, and Lauren. What a great competition that would have been! With a fair voting system we could have had this and been to treated some phenomenal individual and collective performances in the closing weeks of the season. Instead Pia was gone by early April and Casey was out just a couple of weeks later, leaving only Haley and James to provide interesting, provocative performances that didn’t pander to certain specific demographics (Scotty was the worst offender). For a season that could have been superb, it was only a small step ahead of last year’s boring group of finalists.

Jennifer Lopez couldn't hide her dislike for certain contestants.

Along with the disappointment of how the finalists ranked in terms of elimination, there was also the major disappointment of the judging – or lack thereof – throughout the finals. In the early audition stages, Vegas week, the semifinals, and even the first couple of weeks of the finals the judging was reasonably solid. Randy Jackson toned down the cliches, Steven Tyler seemed coherent is not particularly eloquent, and Jennifer Lopez offered sharp, succinct, helpful criticisms. But by the time Casey Abrams was saved the judges decided to basically praise everyone and withhold negative comments from all but the very best contestants, at first Pia and later Haley. Pia’s five finals performances were all among the top performances of the season, yet she received consistently negative criticism while other finalists – especially Jacob Lusk – pulled off mediocre to bad performances with nary a word from the judges that was anything less that extensive praise.

Haley made no effort to hide her contempt for Randy Jackson.

After Pia was unjustly voted off, Haley was next in line to receive the completely unbalanced and uncalibrated criticism. It got so bad that during the Top 4 performance night Randy Jackson declared James, Scotty, and Lauren equally great and ahead of Haley. Such a blatant insult would have been tolerable if it were true. But Haley was at least as good as the others, and her performance was perhaps better than the rest. Haley’s response was perfect, arguing with Randy Jackson during his empty-headed rant (she was 100% factually correct), giving a tepid hug to the judges during a later contrived “reconciliation,” and openly criticizing their unfairness after the show. She even took a subtle dig at Lauren, Scotty and the voting process by calling her competitors “darn cute” and saying that she understood why they appealed to “younger voters.” Pia and Haley were not above criticism, but they were unfairly criticized for good to great performances while the remainder of the contestants were seemingly held to a much lower standard.

Randy's critiques were as bad as his wardrobe.

Aside from the inconsistent feedback, the judges’ comments were often cliche and transparently preferential. Randy Jackson was awful this season, repeating his “in it to win it” mantra carelessly and inconsistently about no fewer than nine different finalists (as illustrated in a montage during the finale), and name-dropping with such obvious desperation it was borderline pitiful. Jennifer Lopez was good at first, but eventually became so wrapped up in her scripted responses that she declared several performances as the “best of the night” before all of the contestants had performed. Her obvious disdain for Haley was petulant and nonsensical. Steven Tyler was flamboyantly entertaining at times, but never offered a negative critique that I remember, instead labeling each performance “beautiful,” and occasionally repeating the exam same critique verbatim for different contestants. In terms of the contestants’ growth, be was utterly irrelevant.

While this season of American Idol was more enjoyable than the past few seasons and the results more unpredictable, it was ultimately unsatisfying because it ended up being decent when it could have been excellent. Idol needs to replace all three judges, completely overhaul the voting process, and move to an elimination format similar to So You Think You can Dance. With those changes the show might maintain some integrity and some relevancy. But while it panders to conservative, White, teenage girls it will struggle to keep pace with its edgier competition.

M. MANDY SCRIPSIT,

Dazed and Confused

After watching tonight’s episode of American Idol, I have just one question: What the hell was that??? I ask that now because I found myself asking it after most of the performances and almost every single critique (individual and collective) made by the judges tonight. So far Season 1o has been fairly strong, with only a handful of weak performances since the finals began and no true train wrecks. Well tonight that changed, and the Top 5 gave us only 2 great vocals with an assortment of fair, bad, and awful performances. It was the worst performance night of the season by a long shot, and makes me wonder if trying to tackle 2 solos in one weeks is a bit much for some of these contestants. James Durbin was terrible tonight, which is surprising given how strong he has been the past few weeks. Jacob Lusk was marginally better, but his first performance was beyond appalling.

Even more appalling were the judges, who were so pathetically out of tune [sic] with their criticisms (or lack thereof) they actually lent credence to the conspiracy theories floating around that the judges/producers manipulate the audience to ensure certain results. How in the world James gets a pass for an absolutely atrocious performance to start the evening and Haley Reinhart gets blasted for choosing an unreleased Lady Gaga song – that she actually sang very well – is beyond me. Jennifer Lopez saying Jacob is one of the best singers ever on the Idol stage is breathtakingly vapid, especially after he delivered a rendition of “No Air” that belongs on the bad audition highlight reel, not the Top 5 of the finals. And while Lauren was competent on “Unchained Melody,” she brought absolutely nothing new or interesting whatsoever.

Enjoyment of music – or any art form for that matter – is inherently personal and subjective. Yet there are objective technical aspects to music, and if those technicalities aren’t sound then the subjective enjoyment is severely undermined. I don’t mind disagreeing with the judges on subjective enjoyment of certain styles or genres, but when they completely miss the boat on their technical critiques there is something seriously wrong with the way things are done in this show. Thus it was a frustrating night in terms of the mediocre overall showing, but even worse was the judges’ failure to call them on it. Here’s how I thought things stacked up:

1. Haley Reinhart – her performances were the two best of the night by a mile. She had the best technical vocals on each of her two songs, and displayed good stage presence with an authentic emotional underpinning. Her first song was an unreleased Lady GaGa song suggested by Jimmy Iovine, and while it wasn’t my favorite song I enjoyed her rendition and vocally she was sound. “House of the Rising Sun” was a true show-stopper, especially the a cappella opening with her sitting on the stool – haunting and perfectly rendered. While she garnered a well-deserved standing ovation for the latter, she received no positive remarks for the first song, which is a travesty, especially considering how it compared to the other performances of the evening. Like Pia, Haley’s superb performances have unleashed criticisms (even if mild) from the judges, while the caterwauling of Jacob gets a pass week after week. I hope she stays in it – she’s the only contestant to receive my votes tonight.

Though his critiques aren't exactly insightful, Steven Tyler does produce a wide range of "What the hell?" moments.

2. Lauren Alaina – choosing between her and Scotty was difficult, but in the end I wound rate Lauren’s vocals slightly superior to Scotty’s, even if neither of her performances were anything approaching greatness. Her first song was an up-tempo country song and she sang it with typical Lauren-esque charm, though I agreed with Jimmy Iovine and Sheryl Crow when they recommended that she just stand still and sing rather than move around the stage. Her solid but ultimately uninteresting version of “Unchained Melody” was forgettable, and again I have to wonder why the judges didn’t criticize Lauren’s song choice, or at least her arrangement of it. Most weeks Lauren would be in the middle of the pack with these performances, but somehow she’s in the 2nd spot tonight.

3. Scotty McCreery – I’ll give Scotty credit for singing an up-temp country-rock song for his first performance of the evening, and for effectively showing the broadest range in terms of song selection. The second song was yet another sleepy country ballad that was just fine technically, but that didn’t really pull me in the way other songs did tonight. Scotty knows how to work the stage and how to appeal to his fan base, so I think he’ll be safe this week. I would have liked his second song better if I liked country music, but I still see his talent and apparently broad appeal.

4. Jacob Lusk – Jacob was worse than usual this week, particularly in his almost unbearably bad performance of “No Air.” His “dancing,” his lack of emotional poignancy or consistency, and his switching between both melodies of the duet were comically poor. Sure he hit a few high notes as always. And yes, his second performance was significantly better than the first. But it was still just mediocre, and on a night when he really needed to shine he fell rather flat. I don’t know who votes for him but apparently some people still do; no one should vote for him tonight.

5. James Durbin – look, I like James. I have consistently ranked him in the Top 5 of the finalists – last week he was #2, the week before he was #1. He has a solid voice, great stage presence and comfort, and a natural authentic emotional reservoir. But tonight he was beyond bad, turning in what I consider the worst performance of the season to start the evening. He followed that up with a hollow, tear-soaked performance that was almost entirely off-key. Randy Jackson even commented (correctly!) that he was alternately sharp and flat throughout the song, but then went on to (incorrectly?) declare him the Idol front-runner because of his emotion. The tears may have been authentic, but what he is upset about exactly? Having limited time with his wife and kids? I get that, but tens of thousands of fathers/husbands across America have the same limitations and don’t get a major tour and an audience of 25 million each week. Sobbing may earn him some sympathy votes, but in my book it was an absolute mess. James is normally a good singer, but tonight he was way off.

Bottom 3 should be: Scotty McCreery, Jacob Lusk, James Durbin

Bottom 3 will be: Lauren Alaina, Jacob Lusk, Haley Reinhart

Should be going home: Jacob Lusk

Will be going home: Jacob Lusk

What are your thoughts? Who was the best/worst and why? Interested to read Brooke’s and Suzanne’s (and other) opinions…

M. MANDY SCRIPSIT

Dividing Lines

Just four weeks from the finale, the best singers are, in my opinion, separating themselves from the rest of the pack. My Top 3 are the same as last week – albeit in a different order – and my Bottom 3 are exactly the same order. As we have come to expect this season on American Idol, there were no absolute train wrecks, and both Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina were competent if not great. The Top 6 also sang duets, and while Haley and Casey were very strong yet again, Jacob and James were a mess. This review is based mainly on the solos, but does take the duets into account at least somewhat. Here’s how I think they stacked up:

1. Haley Reinhart – I had hard time picking out my favorite performance between Casey Abrams, James Durbin, and Haley. In the end I felt Haley gave the most complete vocal performance, showing off gently flowing melodic phrasing, perfect runs of high notes, and that signature growl that has become so familiar during the course of the finals. Haley is much more at ease on stage than she was just a few weeks ago, and vocally was the best of the night, though not absolutely perfect. I disagree with Randy Jackson’s criticism that the beginning was boring – I didn’t find it boring at all, especially compared to Scotty’s sleepy ballad. Her duet with Casey was strong, but nowhere near as good as the duet during the results show two weeks ago. She doesn’t seem to be connecting with the audience, but I hope she sticks around for at least a few more weeks.

2. James Durbin – again, deciding between Casey and James was no easy task, but in the end I felt like James gave the better, more authentic vocal. While I didn’t think his soft, stripped down song a few weeks ago was particularly strong, tonight’s showing was very good. Giving one of the best vocals tonight with a toned down but passionate delivery, James has given two very strong performances in the last two weeks. I disagree with Jennifer Lopez that he has been one of the most consistent finalists – I’ve ranked him as low as 7th – but there’s no doubt he is a very clear front-runner. His duet with Jacob was pretty much a mess, but James did give a solid vocal despite a poor overall performance.

3. Casey Abrams – Jimmy Iovine was right that as an “unambitious” song it was crucial that Casey hit every note. He hit them well enough, and gave his typical energetic, borderline manic performance. At times Casey definitely focuses too much on the stage presence and performance aspect rather than the pure vocals, but tonight was a nice blend of both. He worked the crowd and the stage and even played the piano while delivering a very good vocal. He is third here because of the relatively easy song selection, and while his duet with Haley was good, she again stole the show.

Scotty and Lauren were good but not great this week.

4. Lauren Alaina – there was nothing wrong with Lauren tonight, but there was nothing particularly interesting in her take on the song, and she wasn’t up to her usual form vocally. She is best when she forgoes the gimmicky performance hijinks (eg, pulling a random male audience member on stage) and allows her voice to shine. Tonight her voice was fine but not particularly strong, and the stunt with the audience member was a bit twee. It’s more or less the same Lauren we’ve seen throughout most of the competition, and I disagreed with the judges’ assessment that she was pushing herself. I prefer the nicely textured rendition of “The Climb” to this cutesy prancing around the stage. She was very good in her duet, which gets her the notch above Scotty.

5. Scotty McCreery – there was nothing particularly bad in Scotty’s performance tonight, but for the 2nd week in a row I found him boring and never really connected. Maybe it is the country genre, but to me it was just a slow, sleepy love song. Vocally he was solid, and I did appreciate his attempts at toning down the country drawl in favor of a more straight forward approach during his solo. But if I’m going off subjective appeal, I can’t say I really enjoyed him tonight. He’s in no danger of heading home.

6. Jacob Lusk – the bottom line is Jacob is a mediocre singer outside of his comfort zone on the high notes, and that was painfully obvious tonight. As I’ve said pretty much every week, hitting a few glory notes does not make a great performance. Randy Jackson did comment on his off-key warbling at times, but he still did not get the criticism he deserves. Ultimately Jacob is not deserving of a Top 6 finish and probably shouldn’t be in the finals. I have a hard time seeing anyone else going home other than perhaps Haley.

Bottom 3 should be: Scotty McCreery, Jacob Lusk, Lauren Alaina

Bottom 3 will be: Casey Abrams, Jacob Lusk, Haley Reinhart

Should be going home: Jacob Lusk

Will be going home: Jacob Lusk

What are your thoughts? Who was the best/worst and why? Interested to read Brooke’s and Suzanne’s (and other) opinions…

M. MANDY SCRIPSIT

Tons of Fun

In terms of pure entertainment, this episode of American Idol was one of the best I’ve seen. The hour and a half was chock-full of mostly entertaining filler, including hilarious intro packages, drum lines, a strange and mostly bad group number featuring the finalists who are now off the show, a stolen kiss, a Steven Tyler critique that was mostly censored, and a judging panel that  - gasp! – actually judged (almost). I thought the performances were overall better than last week, though it is becoming clear that there is a definite Top 3.

The episode started with the 6 rejected finalists in a well-conceived but poorly executed in-your-face ensemble that served to show just how far Pia is ahead of everyone else, including the remaining finalists. I don’t remember Idol ever featuring such a group number in the past – have to wonder why they did it this year. The judges were at least critical at times, though they could have more bluntly told Jacob that his singing was mediocre to bad for much of his performance. I thought they overpraised Lauren tonight and underpraised Haley, with Stefano getting a pass on what I thought were mostly poor vocals. Still, providing actual criticism is a significant step in the right direction. And I thought the intro packages were hilarious, with the other contestants each giving an impromptu roast of the other contestants. Scotty, James, and Casey were particularly funny.

Anyway, here’s how I thought the contestants stacked up this week:

1. James Durbin – the judges were right in calling James’ performance the best of the night, even with 5 more to follow. Vocally he was spot on, mixing up the phrasing throughout the song and pushing himself to a higher range than I’d heard him sing before. More than anything James captured the escalating build of the song’s intensity, imbuing the melody with a gritty angst that never abandoned its musicality. This was my favorite performance his this season, and easily the best of the night.

2. Casey Abrams – Casey and Haley tied for the 2nd spot in my view. Casey was yet again technically imperfect but delivered one of the most intriguing performances of the night capped with a little kiss for Jennifer Lopez. He has incredible range: last week he sang a jazzy 1940′s tune while playing the bass, while tonight he did a rock take on a light pop song while playing a guitar. In his intro package the contestants all called Casey a weird artist type, which is pretty much right on. Still, I would enjoy seeing one of his concerts, and look forward to him singing more than any other contestant each week.

2. Haley Reinhart – she didn’t give her absolute best vocal, but she gets at least a little credit for her phenomenal duet with Casey in the results show last week. Not only did she completely out-sing Casey and and effectively steal the show, but she delivered one of the overall best performances on AI this season. Tonight she wasn’t quite as strong, but still delivered a strong, confident, performance while practically standing in the audience. Like Casey, you never know exactly what Haley will do each week, but she has a singular sound and always puts her unique stamp on a song. The is under-appreciated by the judges and apparently the voters – I hope she stays out of the Bottom 3 this week.

Casey and Haley - especially the latter - stole the show last week.

4. Lauren Alaina -Lauren wasn’t bad tonight; she was decent and I enjoyed her performance overall. Still, she wasn’t great and didn’t do anything particularly unique or special with the notes. At 16, I’m not sure Lauren can muster the emotive force to match her beautiful voice. She sings with energy and hasn’t had a subpar showing yet, but she doesn’t seem to be able to infuse passion into her singing the way James, Casey, Haley, and even Jacob can. She’s clearly a great singer, but just doesn’t have the emotional bona fides…at least not yet.

5. Scotty McCreery – for the past few weeks Scotty just has not been improving the way everyone one else has. There was nothing wrong with him tonight, just as there hasn’t been anything wrong with him for the past few weeks. But there also is nothing in his performances, especially tonight, that is in any way unique or interesting or unexpected. It’s almost as if he was trying to live up to the cliches the other contestants mentioned in the intro package, from the way he held to the microphone to his eyebrow twitches. He seems to be resting on the Southern teen vote, and in the end that might be enough to win it.

6. Jacob Lusk – I’m completely perplexed by the judges. On the one hand they actually called out his singing, which was predictably mediocre. They didn’t come out and say it, but they basically implied that he relies on emotional force rather than technical talent. Truly great singers have both in perfect proportion, but Jacob is all emotion and big notes and no technical mastery. I was actually glad he showed some restraint tonight, and I was surprised and disappointed that Randy Jackson criticized him for it – Jacob is usually over the top, so I thought tonight was an improvement in that regard. Still, the bottom line is that Jacob is a so-so singer, and could be in trouble this week.

7. Stefano Langone – Stefano was the worst of the night for me. Sure, he showed some good stage presence and the 2nd half of the song wasn’t bad, but overall the vocals were very inconsistent. Stefano should have simply concentrated on his vocals this week rather than hamming it up for the audience. I think the voters will keep him around another week, but I doubt he’ll crack the Top 5.

Bottom 3 should be: Scotty McCreery, Jacob Lusk, Stefano Langone

Bottom 3 will be: Stefano Langone, Jacob Lusk, Haley Reinhart

Should be going home: Stefano Langone

Will be going home: Jacob Lusk

What are your thoughts? Who was the best/worst and why? Interested to read Brooke’s and Suzanne’s (and other) opinions…

M. MANDY SCRIPSIT