Worldly Wisdom

Here are some of the interesting, funny, and plain stupid things I have heard from my patients and their family members:

– When one of my patients found out I was pregnant she asked, “So are you going to be in the program?”, I simply said No, but I really wanted to say…”Yeah, I am going to have a nurse , one of my coworkers, come to my home a teach me the EXACT same thing I teach you every week.”

-Me speaking to a mother of a newborn: “You shouldn’t let your baby cry because he is learning how to trust and his crying is the way he is letting you know he needs something, you cannot spoil a newborn.” (Yes, this is what they tell me to say)

Patient: Also, I don’t want him to have an outie.

Me:  What?

Patient: You know, when your baby cries a lot he will get an outie.

-And then there’s this gem: “I know my baby pees after I am done peeing.”

Me: Why do you think that?

Patient: After I am done peeing I will sit on the toilet and a few trickles come out, that is my baby peeing.

-One of my patients told me in order to stop her baby’s hiccups she takes a string off the baby’s clothing and puts it on her forhead in a circular shape. She is convinced it works.

-My patient thought that after her baby’s umbilical cord was cut that the other part stayed inside of her and floated around.

-Several of my patients believe that their baby’s umbilical cord is attached to their on belly button.

-Two or three of my patients tell me I am having a girl. When I ask why, they tell me it is because their daughters cried after I left their homes because, naturally, they are jealous of the girl I am carrying.

-A lot of my Dominican patients when starting their toddlers on milk believe they can only give them strawberry or chocolate flavored milk because the regular milk can hurt their stomachs. I’m still confused about that one.

-A part of my job is to know about the relationships my patients are in, if they are willing to share. My patient told me she wasn’t comfortable having sexual relations with her boyfriend because she didn’t want her baby to see his penis.

-A ton of my patients believe that newborn babies are blind for a few weeks after birth.

-I was told by one of my patients that she can’t wash her hair for 40 days after delivery because bad spirits could come into her through her cold hair. I wanted to ask her if she believed in hair dryers.

-Women who don’t stay in for a month after they give birth can get arthritis…so they say.

-You can tell if a woman is having a boy because her face gets ugly and her nose gets big. You look beautiful if you are having a girl, because girls are pretty. So scientific.

I am sure I’ve heard many more silly things but here are the ones I can think of for now….hope you have enjoyed.

Signed,

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7 Comments

Filed under Miscellany and Tomfoolery, Parenthood/Pregnancy

7 responses to “Worldly Wisdom

  1. Papá

    No doubt here, I like the one about relationships best. I so totally agree with your patient! I’m not sure why I keep laughing so hard!? Is it because I’m trying to picture this in my mind? Is it because I’m embarrassed? I’m not sure, but tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write this. That’s the best laugh I’ve had in a while. Hey, keep it coming! I love you!

  2. atletico0517

    That was both hilarious and sad at the same time…mostly hilarious though. Good post!

  3. abuela

    The girls are lucky to have you to help them in all these thoughts!!!

  4. Natalie C.

    That’s really funny except for the fact that you really have your work cut out for you. I guess you can have the satisfaction of knowing that you are REALLY helping these women as you teach and love them.

  5. Oh my goodness, that was a good laugh for me this morning!! I am with the others, it is both funny and sad….and yes, you do have your job cut out for you!!
    Hey, we are going to be in NY in just about a month, we need to try to get together, if you are free!

  6. “-A part of my job is to know about the relationships my patients are in, if they are willing to share. My patient told me she wasn’t comfortable having sexual relations with her boyfriend because she didn’t want her baby to see his penis.”

    Completely valid.

    I love you and can’t wait to see you in a few weeks!

  7. Raissa

    Hello! I went to B’s blog and saw yours on the sidebar so I’m here. I bet that that bit about having a huge nose and being ugly if one’s carrying a boy was from a Filipino ‘coz they say that a lot in the Philippines! Crazy… Good post! Very… informative… 😀

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