Eat, Sleep, Breath

As I was talking to a friend last week I realized I do not have a life. Well, OK, that isn’t really true. My life just happens to be 14 lbs 14 oz, 26 inches long, and is the most adorable thing I have ever laid eyes own. When I think about blogging I have nothing but Liam to write about. I feel as though I once had all these semi-interesting thoughts and emotions. Now all I seem to talk (and think) about are Liam’s moods, sleeping habits, poops, new adventures, and how I can make his day the best it can be (and therefore, my day the best it can be!). My emotions are pretty limited as well – ecstatic  when Liam sleeps and complete and utter bliss when Liam smiles and laughs. (Agony would be the third emotion when Liam does NOT sleep).

I realize this is normal. I am ok with this new norm for me – well most of the time, anyways. It is just a bit shocking when I realize this truth. For the last 29 years my life revolved around myself, my family, my friends, my work, my need for sleep…MY this and that. Now it revolves around LIAM’s every breath. Even though I feel as though this is completely valid I still can’t help to think there needs to be some sort of balance. Liam needs to see the importance of my relationship to our Heavenly Father. He also needs to see me put effort and love into the most important human relationship I have, the one I have with Mason. He needs to see the importance of friendship and family. I want Liam to feel like he is THE most important person in my life but also see how his Mommy can love every fiber of his being and give of her time and energy to others. In theory this seems easy. In my mind I think,”Man, that is a sinch.” Reality is I don’t want to do anything but eat, sleep, and breath Liam (oh, glorious SLEEP)!

One of my dearest friends, Tania, and I use to hang out and talk about everything under the sun….the most random things. Since our our lives have been blessed with our two little boys we still talk about five times a day (if not more!) and all we seem to talk about are Jaxon and Liam. How is that possible? We talk MORE now on a daily basis but talk about these two little beings at every conversation. Same goes with Mason. I feel as though I see him more now but what do we talk about? You got it – LIAM! I find myself frustrated because I feel as though I have nothing else TO talk about. I am not working. Our friends are far away, as is our family. Church is always a test of survival. My dreams revolve around our son. What is there left? (Side note – I am doomed for depression once our children leave us!) I continue to feel a deep connection to my family and friends, probably even deeper now, actually. But I, well, I just can’t put my finger on it. I am obviously different. Motherhood changes a person.

Well, since Liam is my favorite subject to talk about, here are a few favorites:

-Right before I lay him down for naps or bedtime I hold him and rock him as I sing to him. He snuggles up to me. The spot between my neck and shoulder was created specifically for his perfect head.

-When he wakes up he lays in his bed talking and playing, waiting patiently for me to go pick him up. I love to hear his gibberish and squeals.

-Along side the last comment, when he sees me over his crib he gets the look of pure excitement and joy, like to be saying “YOU’RE HERE, YOU’RE HERE….YAY, let’s play!!!”

-He starts to fuss when he sees me making his food in the kitchen. I don’t actually like that he is fussing, but, it is pretty adorable that he knows what I am doing and is anxiously awaiting.

-Liam makes this “mmm..nyum…mmm…nyumm” sound when he is enjoying his food. I feel as though he appreciates my cooking 🙂

-Watching him sit. How is it that my little baby is old enough to be sitting by himself?

-Watching Liam play by himself. He uses his little pointer finger to grab on to things and it is simply adorable.

-The way he looks at me when I am putting water in my glass. Well, actually, the way he looks at me all the time. It is as if he is saying, “Mommy, what are you doing? What is that?”

-On that note…I love how he is constantly trying to figure everything out, such a curious little guy.

-Liam does this “bashful” look now that melts my heart. He puts his face into my arm or chest and will look at whomever out of the corner of his eye. I think he is learning how to flirt. Uh oh.

Well, there are a million things that I love about this child of mine. I think I find ten new things a day that I fall in love with about him. He really is my sunshine and happiness. I am so blessed with Liam.

With more love than I ever thought possible,

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4 Comments

Filed under Liam, Miscellany and Tomfoolery, Parenthood/Pregnancy

4 responses to “Eat, Sleep, Breath

  1. Tammy

    You will be able to show Liam how fantastic a mom and an overall person that you are: once you get some sleep! I was SO in your shoes. It truly didn’t feel like I would EVER be normal again! You will be there again! Enjoy the little bits of now that you can remember through your sleep deprivation and take lots of pictures so you can go back to remember the spots that you just don’t because of your sleep deprivation! LOL
    Thank you for sharing your love of life in such a candid way! I look forward to getting to know you more and more!
    oxox
    Tammy

  2. So beautifully written! This is truly a magical time isn’t it?! Liam is so adorable and he will continue to steal your heart in all matter of ways. You and Mason continue to love and enjoy Liam and to see with awe and wonder this precious gift from God. We love you three!

  3. Lissa,

    Great blog! Great to see you writing your thoughts, and great thoughts! At one time I felt like you are writing for us the readers, at another time for you, and at another time for Liam! That’s great! Isn’t it great how God gives you this little blessing and then works in your innermost being to change your focus, affection, love and your whole life -all aimed at him. Liam is a wonderful little baby boy, and it is neat to see every day how his personality comes out in so many different ways. Liam is also very fortunate to have a stay-at-home mom to respond to his every need and desire. I’m glad that you and Mason value that and that you are able to gastaros el lujo de hacerlo -que no todos pueden hacer eso.

    Okay, so now the $64 million dollar question: WHEN did you find the time and the energy to write this blog? 🙂

    Love you,
    Papá

  4. Rachel D

    I have SO been there! I vividly remember those days with Keith, and he’s going on 4 now! I remember thinking, ‘Mick and I used to enjoy discussing theology–now all we ever talk about is poop.’ 🙂 It’s really a very short time that you feel this way (though it can seem like an eternity!) Glad you’re enjoying Liam while you can! You’re such a good Mommy!

    Some of the best advice I got when Keith was at that stage was to make sure to focus on our marriage, too. Date nights can be a LOT of effort (or even couch time while the baby plays by himself somewhere he can see you), but it is SO worth the effort to make sure that our children know that our marriages are top priority! Now that Keith is old enough to observe and interact, and we have another baby draining my time and energy, I can see the wisdom that investing in our marriage is the best investment we can make in our family. And, after all, the kids will grow up and leave, and the two of us will be left with each other!
    I read a fun article recently in Parents magazine about using talking points for a date so the conversation doesn’t revolve completely around baby. 🙂 Fun stuff!
    http://www.parents.com/parenting/relationships/staying-close/date-night-a-cheat-sheet/

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